Do photos of yourself make you feel like this...?

Hello Lovely, 

I came across this meme on Pinterest...

...it made me laugh and got me thinking about how differently I see my body now compared with a few years ago. 

In 2010, I wanted some professional photos for my Image Consultancy website. The photo I'd been using had been taken by my friend in her garden - she'd stood on a stool and I crouched on a white sheet - we were creative if nothing else!! 

So I did a 'swapsy' with a photographer: she had a wardrobe consultation in exchange for a photoshoot. 

 I'd gone to so much trouble to select the right outfits, accessories and props. I had a great day and was eager to get the photos back. 

But when I saw them I cried. 

I *thought* I looked fat, spotty and one eye seemed to droop in every photo -  how had I never noticed that before!?? I felt disgusting.

So what did I do? I scrapped the professional shots and continued using the makeshift one my friend had taken on her husband's camera. 

A couple of years later, I came across the images and I couldn't believe what I saw. I didn't hate the photos of myself, I loved them. 

HOW HAD I EVER THOUGHT I WAS FAT? WHO CARED THAT ONE EYE WAS A LITTLE LOWER THAN THE OTHER?? Why had I been such a b!tch to myself? 

I have lots of photos like that. When I look at them now it's like seeing them for the first time: through a different pair of eyes. Softer and kinder eyes. 

These were some of the photos that I cried over. I no longer zone in on my eyelids or the fact my skin isn't perfect. I now see a happy, smily (and slim!!) woman looking back. Oh how I wish that I had seen all that at the time. I'm a stone heavier now I can't even get those jeans over my hips any more, let alone do them up, and I probably never will (and I'm perfectly content with that) but what a waste of a figure that I didn't appreciate!! 

I would love to go back in time and give myself a (loving) shake. I want to tell the me from 6/10/15 years ago that I wasn't fat or ugly. I will never look that young again - what a waste of my twenties. So now I no longer allow myself to be critical of photos. I no longer allow myself to nitpick. I look for the parts I love instead of the parts I hate. 

Have you ever seen a photo of yourself from a few years back and realised you really weren't as fat or unattractive as you thought at the time?

Well I have some cold, hard truth for you. In 10 years time, you're going to look back at a photo from TODAY and wish that you'd seen your beauty. So why wait? Why put yourself through that torment and then regret it? Instead of waiting for ten years time, why not see what you'll see then TODAY?! 

You're beautiful, right here and right now. Look for that beauty. 

Much love,
Emma xx
P.S. Would you love some help seeing yourself through more loving eyes? My Love Your Body course takes you step-by-step through the mindset work I teach my clients.  

What Happened When I Stopped Hating My Body...

I used to be so self-conscious about the way I looked which basically meant I was constantly aware of myself, my appearance and felt on edge too much of the time. This affected my business and my life. I retreated.  

When I began to see my body differently and treat it with love rather than contempt, the biggest thing I noticed was that I stopped 'being in my head'. 

And instead:
1) I relaxed and enjoyed social situations more. 

2) I started new hobbies. I took myself off to dance classes: ballet, tap and hip hop. I got drum lessons - so much fun!

3) I enjoyed my own company.

4) I lightened up. I laughed at myself. I used to be so serious because I was feeling defensive.

5) I started dating. I signed up for Internet dating and had such a blast. Instead of worrying about what they thought of me, I relaxed and enjoyed the date. 

6) My Image Consultancy business boomed! Before that I was too concerned that I needed to look a certain way. This severely limited the results I had in my business because I was terrified of judgement. I procrastinated and hid behind my laptop.  Learning to love my body (and myself) enabled me to 'get out there'. I ran workshops; spoke to roomfuls of women; contacted and appeared in newspapers. I even walked into high street stores in London and told them I wanted to run an event there. 

7) I stopped trying to look like the 'perfect' Image Consultant and just wore whatever the heck I wanted. 

Who do you know who would benefit from learning how to love their body? 

How would Body Confidence change their life? 

I've made my new 'Love Your Body' programme affordable for all! I’ve put so much into it – everything I've learnt to transform the way I see my body and everything I teach my clients. 

It WILL change the way you view your body; it’s impossible to go through this course and see yourself in the same way. It will literally change the relationship you have with your body.  

Emma xx

25% Happier Using a Kilner Jar?!

Hello lovely, 

I can't believe we are a week into 2016 already! 

I'm excited about this year and even more fired up about my coaching business but also committed to creating a work-life balance that feeds my body, mind and soul. Who else is with me on that one!?

My last post about the power of Vision Boards, here,  has been one of my most popular: not just on social media but with many of you sending me personal messages and pictures of your own boards. Thank you – I love seeing them!  

And I love sharing things that have helped me in my own life and today is no different. 

This technique could literally change your life! It has been scientifically proven to increase happiness by 25%!! Who wouldn’t jump at that?

I'm taking about GRATITUDE. 

According to studies, having an attitude of gratitude:

• Improves physical health
• Improves psychological health
• Enhances empathy and reduces aggression
• Improves sleep
• Improves self-esteem

  
Many years ago, I was struggling with my physical health and that in turn affected my emotional health. I remember reading about a guy who was suffering from depression and, after hearing about the positive affect of feeling grateful, set himself a challenge. He challenged himself to write out FIFTY things he was grateful for every single day. At the beginning it took him all day to come up with his 50. He included everything from running water and food on the table to generous acts of kindness from friends. 

After one month his depression had lifted and he was a completely different person. To say that grabbed my attention is an understatement. 

So I set myself a similar challenge: to write 30 things every day. Do you know what? He was right – my outlook on life changed completely. I felt differently about everything: friends, work, the world in general, my illness and myself. 

Finding and focusing on things we can be thankful for is incredibly powerful and the reason I ask every single client of mine to keep a Gratitude Diary.

It's too easy to focus on the things that have gone wrong or things that aren't 'enough'. But as the inspiring quote by Melody Beattie states:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

Today I'd like to share a fun way for you to practise an attitude of gratitude. 

It's in the form of a GRATITUDE JAR.

I forget when I first heard the idea of this but having seen a post from Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) about her Happiness Jar, which is very similar, it has inspired me to do one again. Plus...any excuse to buy a new Kilner jar (wink). 

Here’s my Gratitude Jar sitting on the corner of my desk. 

No, you don’t have to come up with 30-50 things a day. If you’d like to set yourself that challenge I recommend you get a notebook otherwise you’ll be filling your shelves with jars!!

HOW TO CREATE YOUR OWN GRATITUDE JAR

You need:

• A large jar (or box)
• Slips of paper (I'm keeping a pack of post-it notes next to the jar and cutting the sticky part off)
• 60 seconds  each night

What to do:

• Each night write at least one thing you were grateful for that day.
• Every few months, take out all the slips of paper and read them. This can’t help but put a smile on y our face.

You'll love it, I promise. It's wonderful to see the jar filling up. Why not get your family doing one too?

Who else is going to try this in 2016? If so, I’d love to see your photos. 

See you in the Kilner aisle ;-)

Emma xx 

P.S. I’ve put a fun twist on this for one of the activities in Module 1 of my 'Love Your Body' online course. It's coming out in the next couple of weeks, so watch this space!

How I Use Vision Boards to Make my Dreams Come True

HOW I USE VISION BOARDS TO MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE

Happy New Year, gorgeous!

I hope you rang in the new year with some bubbly and the people you love. 

One thing I love about the start of each new year is the opportunity to set intentions and goals for the year ahead. I used to write New Year's Resolutions but they just tended to bore me after a while and fall by the wayside. 
 
Instead I now make a Vision Board (also called a Dream Board). They are much more exciting to create and bring about powerful results!

Here are my 2016 & 2017 Vision Boards:

2016 Vision Board

2017 Vision Board

• Do you want to start/or increase your business? Create a Vision Board.

• Do you want to get fitter? Create a Vision Board.

• Do you want to feel more confident? Create a Vision Board.

• Do you want to travel more? Create a Vision Board.

I think you get the idea...(wink).

What is a Vision Board?

A Vision Board is a collage of images to enable you to see your future goals in pictorial form.

Why use a Vision Board?

Our brains work tirelessly to achieve the statements we give to our Subconscious Mind. But we need to give it really clear instructions. Our Subconscious Mind doesn’t respond to words - it responds to pictures and emotions.

Through creating a Vision Board, you will:

1. Get really clear on what you want in life. 85% of people know what they don’t want but aren’t clear on what they DO want. If you keep thinking about what you don’t want then you just get more of the same. We get what we focus on.

2. Give a definite image and instruction to your Subconscious Mind of what the desired results will look like.

My Experience with Vision Boards

I have been creating Vision Boards for years now. Here are just some of the many incredible things that have manifested by creating and using a Vision Board:

1. Upgrade to Business Class (on two different trips).

2. Sydney for New Year’s Eve.

3. The money to train to be an Image Consultant.

4. My dream car.

5. My dream apartment.

6. My dream coach business.

7. Business trip to Paris.

8. Published in my favourite international magazine.

9. Working with the top coach in Australia.

10. Ed Sheeran concert (after the tickets had sold out!).

11. Healing myself from CFS/ME.

12. And sooo many more!

---

HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN VISION BOARD

STEP 1: KNOW HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL

Everything we want is because we think it will make us FEEL better. Feel healthier, happier, wealthier, in love etc.

So I start from that place. I write down 5 feelings that I want to experience (this can take some time but it is worth it!). I did this yesterday (my man did too).

Scribble everything down and then you can edit. Don’t hold back. You can edit afterwards. 

Here are some of my initial scribbles (excuse the scrawled handwriting). I played around with the words that came up and asked myself why I wanted to feel that way. 

My scribbles for 2016

I then made the final decision on my 5 words for 2016. They are:  NOURISH, EXPANSIVE, CONNECTED, EMPOWERED, EXPRESSIVE

STEP 2: LIST THE THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY

I then wrote down all of the activities that I could think of that would make me feel this way. Ask yourself this: What people, places, experiences and things will make you feel your chosen words/emotions?

STEP 3: SELECT IMAGES

Select images that represent how you want to feel  - the actions you can take, the people, places and things. 

Get yourself a pile of magazines (all different genres) and flick though and rip out anything that catches your attention. You then glue or pin these to a board. 

I also like to use Pinterest because you can find pretty much every image under the sun to add to your boards. I save them and then use a collage app (PixlrExpress) to gather the images into one large photo. Click to see  my: Vision Board 2016 Pinterest Board. 

I have over a hundred Pinterest Boards (yeah, I couldn't believe it when I counted either!), so feel free to get pinning from there. I have boards on everything from Style and Travel to Self Care and Body Acceptance. You can find them here: My Pinterest Boards.

**Side note** In a way, Pinterest boards are similar to Vision Boards but the difference is you need to commit to what you'd love to achieve. The definiteness of purpose is what sets Vision Boards apart from a 'Bucket List' of things you'd like to maybe do someday. Make your decision and impress it upon your Subconscious Mind. That's the power of the Vision Board. 

STEP 4: LOOK AT YOUR VISION BOARD DAILY

The idea is to have your Vision Board on display daily. If you have made a physical board then place it where you will see it morning and night. If it's a digital copy then put it on your phone and use it as your screensaver on your computer. 

Remember what I said in my last blog post, here, wishing just reminds us that we DON'T have what it is that we want. I don't want you to just WISH they would come true. I want you to know and believe that they will. There's a big difference. 

STEP 5: YOUR PART

Use your Vision Board to remind you of what you want. Decide that you WILL be, do and have the things on your Vision Board. Your job is to then spend time each day looking at and feeling the emotion as if it's already yours. Affirm the statement below:

“I create my life and I am working towards my dream life . My Subconscious Mind works tirelessly to search for and find any person, place, opportunity or thing that will realise and manifest my dream. It's my job to notice these and then take the inspired action.”

Then think of one thing you can do that day that will enable you to feel the emotion that you are hoping to achieve by realising your dreams. Start living NOW as if you already are that person that would be, do or have those things. That will get you to your goal faster than anything else. 

---

Sometimes I do one board and other times I will do a board for each area of my life e.g. Business, Love, Friendship, Hobbies, Travel, Health etc. Both have worked their ‘magic’.

How does a Vision Board work?

Well there are two camps of thought on this.

One says it is the  Reticular Activating System (RAS) in our brain that activates our Subconscious Mind to see, hear and respond to anything that will bring us into close proximity with our goal.( If you’d like to find out more about this and how it affects our behaviour and can keep us stuck in life then download my free ‘Confidence is the New Black’ 3-Part Training Series.)

The other says that it is due to the Law of Attraction; that whatever we focus on will come true for us. We are all energetic beings and when we imagine that we have what we want (by looking at our Vision Board daily) we activate the same vibration and attract it to us. This is the Law of Attraction.

I have to say that I believe both to be true. Our brains are just like Google: if we ask it to look for something it goes on a search for anything and everything related. That’s its job! But I have also experienced far too many incredible ‘coincidences’ not to be open to the idea that we are vibration beings.  I believe in the Law of Attraction because the evidence has been too strong to prove otherwise for me. When I doubt that’s when things slow down. So for me I am a loud and proud believer. What we think about becomes our reality.

Whatever your beliefs are, why not give it a go?

In 2007 my sister saw my Vision Board and then as I slowly started to tick off the things that had come true for me, she decided to make her own. There was a house that she had fallen in love with but had just been sold. I told her to just put it on there anyway. Well...that next year she moved into the exact house that she had pinned on her board.

It works!

What have you got to lose? Even if they don’t "magically" appear you will still know what goals you’re striving for and that's a lot more than 85% of the population. 

If you have any questions or comments, I’d love to hear them below. Or even better...send me a picture of your Vision Board, I'd love to see it!

Emma xx

I HAVE A 7 DAY VISION BOARD MASTERY COURSE

I KNOW YOU'LL LOVE IT. CLICK BELOW TO FIND OUT MORE

Carrie Bradshaw Quote to Transform Your LIFE & Business

“It’s tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not to quit, play the hand we’ve been dealt, and accessorise what we’ve got.”

— Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

Wishing is pointless. It gets us nowhere. We know this really. We can wish we were a different dress size. We can wish we could run around the block without gasping for breath.  We can wish we had a constant stream of clients, and a bigger bank balance. But wishing isn't going to cut it. 

The cold, hard truth is that we can't 'WISH' ourselves healthier, fitter, wealthier or happier.

 In fact, wishing just remind us that we don't have what we want.

As Carrie Bradshaw - or more accurately Candace Bushnell, the author of Sex and the City - put it, it's time to play the hand we've been dealt and accessorise what we've got. 

Let's relate that to your life and business, lovely. 

• Are you getting the results you want?
• Do you have a clear plan of action?
• Are you using your strengths and talents?
• Does your business (and life) reflect your personality? 
• Are you doing what you LOVE?
• What do you need to do less of? 
• What brought you the most success in 2015? How can you do more of that?

---

How to play the hand you've been dealt:

1. Gratitude - be thankful for all you have

2. Know who you are and want you want

3. Know your talents and strengths

How to 'accessorise' your life and business:

1. Play to your strengths

2. Allow your personality to shine through in all you do/wear/say

3. Bring more fun into your business and everyday life

4. Start from where you are and apply small changes

A winner never quits and a quitter never wins. Make a plan of action and start implementing starting TODAY!

Emma xx

Quotes to Inspire YOU to Be Yourself

I'm a huge fan of quotes. If I need inspiration the I am sure to hit Google or Pinterest. These are my favourite quotes to hopefully inspire YOU to be YOU. 

"I've finally stopped running away from myself. Who else is there better to be?" Goldie Hawn "The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are, and not who people think you are." Goldie Hawn

"Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... do your thing, and don't care if they like it." Tina Fey

"Always be yourself and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it." Bruce Lee

"Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement." Golda Meir

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

“Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.”  Allen Ginsberg

Coco Chanel: what a woman! She would not be the legend and style icon we love and know her as, if she had been afraid to stand out!

“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” Coco Chanel

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.” Judy Garland

“Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be.” Henry David Thoreau

Here's someone who unapologetically embraces all she is and revels in showing herself to the world; for this reason I have huge respect for Lady Gaga:

 "You laugh at me because I’m different. I laugh at you because you’re all the same." Lady Gaga

“Don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can't be exactly who you are.” Lady Gaga

“‎Do not allow people to dim your shine because they are blinded. Tell them to put on some sunglasses." Lady Gaga

 “The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.” Leo Buscaglia

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Dolly Parton

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” Steve Maraboli

“Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ouch! The quote below by Andre Dubus is a harsh and hard-hitting quote but it really makes you think, doesn't it!?

“Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people." Andre Dubus

Here is a softer version:

"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." Eleanor Roosevelt

What are your favourite quotes? I'd love to hear them in the comment box below...

Emma xx

Wooohooo! My NEW website is LIVE!

I'm celebrating my BRAND NEW WEBSITE

There was nothing particularly wrong with my old website. In fact I had lots of lovely comments. It was really quite pretty and the graphic/web designer did an amazing job.

However, I wanted more ownership; I wanted to be able to create new pages and change the menu buttons in an instant. I was having to pay a tech guy to make small changes because any slight change in the coding and the whole page would change format. Arrggghhhh! It was driving me mad. Everything was taking so long even though it was Wordpress and meant to be straightforward.

A few Fridays ago my boyfriend and I had our 'Date Night' and part way through the evening he told me he had a surprise for me...

He took out his phone and presented me with a website...my website...

He had set up a template for a new website and had been busy reading up about the different coding (he loves all that!) involved in that particular site. Using my copy and photos, he had created a simple mock-up of a sparkly new website!!!

Oh my goodness! Was he for real??!!

To me, that was more exciting than if he had bought me a diamond necklace. I was speechless to begin with and then quite emotional. He KNEW what this would mean to me. The fact that he had taken the time and effort was the most touching gift.

Together, we spent the next 4 Sundays (and many hours in between) with our heads in our laptops editing, checking, updating and creating. I wanted him to show me every aspect of the site so I could feel in control.

And you are looking at the result! I am thrilled with it! I have created and have ownership of every page now.

I hope it helps you get a better feel for what I do and WHY. I am so passionate about empowering women to release their Self-Bully and gain the CONFIDENCE to create their dream life.

I want this website to be the catalyst for change which is why it's so important to me - and HE knew that.

I hope you enjoy reading through the blog posts and return on a regular basis to get the information and motivation to transform the relationship you have with yourself!

Much love, Emma xx

Photo source: Pinterest