I used to be the ultimate perfectionist. I thought it was an asset.
This didn't mean I thought I was perfect; or that everything I did was in fact ‘perfect’.
It meant I waited.
I had so many dreams and I was waiting until I felt confident enough. I set ridiculously high standards for myself. I demanded more from myself. A lot more.
I STOPPED myself before I even moved forward. I questioned myself constantly. I was waiting to get it all ‘just right’.
There was, of course, never a time when I felt ‘perfect’. Therefore, I just became immobilised.
Does this sound familiar?
- Do you expect yourself to be perfect?
- Do you hold yourself back?
You may never feel ready or perfect enough! Even if you had all the time in the world to prepare for: an exam; a speech; a business; a child you’d never feel truly ‘ready’.
So what's the answer? Just go for it! Done is better than perfect.
However, if you’re anything like I was, you will need to do more than just throw yourself in the deep end...
You need to work on your mindset. These techniques will help release you from the vicious cycle.
1 :: Delight your inner toddler
Toddlers are who we were before the world told us who we ‘should’ be. Toddlers are messy. They’re happy to go from one activity to the next without fear of failure. They colour just to colour. Why do we insist they colour ‘in the lines’.
Get messy! Try something just for the fun of it. Draw, colour, paint or throw a {rubbish} bowl on a pottery wheel. Have fun. Focus on the fun rather than the skill. Literally colour outside the lines on purpose.
2:: Get up close and personal with your fears
Take out a notebook and answer these questions:
- What do you actually fear?
- Who are you worried will criticise you?
- What do you gain by holding yourself back?
- What would really happen if you ‘failed’?
- What is the worst possible outcome if you took a step forward?
- How would feel if you do NOT take action towards this goal?
I can pretty much guarantee that ‘having a go’ and failing is nowhere near as painful as the frustration you feel at standing in your own way.
You will realise that, as Anaïs Nin so beautifully explains, the risk to remain tight in a bud is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom.
What dream are you putting off? What steps can you take towards your dream TODAY? Please leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you.
Until next time, get messy!
Much love,
Emma x
Photo Credits: Pinterest