HOW TO GET OVER FEAR OF SUCCESS

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HOW TO GET OVER FEAR OF SUCCESS

HOW TO GET OVER FEAR OF SUCCESS

Fear of success is very common and that’s because fearing change is what our brains are wired to do. You are literally going against your internal programming and survival instincts when you set new and big goals. 

So don’t beat yourself up about it but yes, you do need to work through it otherwise it will always feel like you have one foot on the accelerator and the other on the break the whole time your run your business. 

Finish the sentence (below) as many times as you can until you have written everything your brain can think of. 

I am scared to be a success in case/because…

Give your brain the time to share. It's trying to be heard and when we try to think positively over it without letting it speak, it just gets louder!

And your subconscious mind (where this fear comes from) is FIVE TIMES MORE POWERFUL than your conscious mind anyway so you'll be fighting a losing battle if you try to ignore it and its fears. 

Then take each answer and write out 3 reasons why that isn’t actually true/fact (or as they say...absolute BS). 

For example:
I am scared to be a success in case I get trolled on the internet.

The 3 reasons why this is BS are:

  1. People will say things whether I’m being successful or not. A troll will always be a troll so I can stay small or go big. It's about them, not ME. They'll just troll someone else if I'm staying small and not being seen. 
  2. I might NEVER even get trolled anyway and I’m stopping myself from doing what I love to protect myself from something that may NEVER happen. 
  3. The people whose opinions I really value will want me to be a success. 

do this for EVERY sentence you wrote out. Coach yourself through it. 

Once you have done that...

imagine you're 90 sitting on your sofa and you look back and REALISE you never went for your dreams.

Write about how you feel. It's good if this feels painful. We are trying to change the what your brain links pain (aka fear) to.

You will ALWAYS have fear. We can’t get rid of that - but we can use it to our advantage. 

This is not just about 'feel the fear and do it anyway', it’s about changing that fear to be the FEAR OF NOT GOING FOR IT. 

After that amp up the excitement of the results you want.

But do the other exercises first and your brain will accept them and get excited too.

Try this and let me know in the comments below how differently you feel about creating success in your business and going NEXT LEVEL. 

Emma xx


Before you go, are you a member of my 'Where Soul & Sales Collide' Facebook group? It's where I share ALL THINGS:

MINDSET, MARKETING & MANIFESTING.

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CHANGE YOUR MINDSET AROUND UNSUBSCRIBERS AND GET SENDING MORE EMAILS

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CHANGE YOUR MINDSET AROUND UNSUBSCRIBERS AND GET SENDING MORE EMAILS

If you're in my Facebook group or you've downloaded my workbooks you'll have heard me talking about the importance of having and building an email list.

After all, you don't own the details of those 3k people you have on Facebook or Instagram (billionaire Mark Zuckeburg does), so you never know when they might change the algorithms again or decide to charge us for every business post we put out there.

When I first started building my email list and sending weekly newsletters, I used to take it soooo personally when people unsubscribed. 

It made me doubt what I was saying and I'd put off sending them regularly. 

It made me filter myself and dilute my message and quieten my voice.

It made me worry that I was somehow 'bothering' my list. 

Even just one of those thoughts is enough to sabotage any chance of building engaged fans who can't wait to hear from you.  

In today's podcast, I share why you should never take unscubscribers personally and how to change your mindset around it so you can keep show up and building a strong relationship with the people who came forward and handed you their email address.

Take a listen:

Got a question or comment about this? I'd love to hear from you in the comment box below. 

Emma xx


Before you go, are you a member of my 'Where Soul & Sales Collide' Facebook group? It's where I show up daily to inspire, motivate and share my best content to create a business and life you love.

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HOW TO CREATE SERVICES YOUR IDEAL CLIENT ACTUALLY WANTS

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HOW TO CREATE SERVICES YOUR IDEAL CLIENT ACTUALLY WANTS

As exciting as it is to design your Dream/Ideal Client, it takes more than just 'make-believe' to ensure this person is in fact the one you need to be targeting. 

I'm all for creating a profile of someone that you're eager to work with and has the personality and traits you're excited to spend your days helping. The first step IS dreaming up the perfect person to match the services you want to offer. But don't make the mistake many entrepreneurs do and stop there. 

You cannot just assume you know what people want. You have to actually ASK them. Otherwise you'll end up spending hours and hours (most likes weeks or months) creating the most incredible content and designing life-changing services but still end up hearing crickets (I've been there and it sucks!). 

In today's video I explain what to do to prevent that

MARKET RESEARcH TO KNOW YOUR IDEAL CLIENT THOROUGHLY


Finding this process more difficult that you expected? I have an 'Identify your Ideal Client' program which includesL

  1. 22 page in-depth Workbook
  2. 2 Hour 1:1 Call
  3. Templates for surveys and target market research questions

Click the button below to find out more:

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HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR IDEAL CLIENT

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HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR IDEAL CLIENT

Yesterday I talked about what an ideal client is and the importance of knowing exactly WHO you're talking to when you market your services. 

Today I'm sharing HOW to define your dream client and the questions to ask yourself. Trust me - getting clear on this will transform your business (and bank account):


Finding this process more difficult that you expected? I have an 'Identify your Ideal Client' program which includesL

  1. 22 page in-depth Workbook
  2. 2 Hour 1:1 Call
  3. Templates for surveys and target market research questions

Click the button below to find out more:

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21 SUCCESS & MONEY AFFIRMATIONS FOR FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS

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21 SUCCESS & MONEY AFFIRMATIONS FOR FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS

21 SUCCESS & MONEY AFFIRMATIONS FOR FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS 

1. Whatever I can dream up for my business, I can achieve.

2. I've created the perfect business for myself.

3. This year I made £$_____.  (Insert the amount you want to make in 2018 and get used to hearing yourself say it as if it's happened).

4. I deserve the finest life has to offer.

5. _______ is my most profitable month of 2018!  (You can change the month each time).

6. My success encourages others to go after their dreams.

7. I lovingly forgive any past money mistakes to open myself up to receiving more. 

8. I'm open and ready to attract everything I desire.

9. I love turning my creative ideas into money.

10. I’m proud of everything I’ve achieved so far.

11. I'm happy, successful and fulfilled.

12. Why is it so easy for me to get new clients? 

(Let your brain keep coming up with ideas for this one. Our brains are like Google - ask it a question and it'll search for an answer. So don’t say: Why do I never have enough clients/money? Because it WILL give you an answer and it won’t feel very empowering.)

13. Incredible abundance is my chosen reality.

14. I use money to better my life and the life of others.

15. I have everything I want and need.

16. I have the power to attract money.

17. I deserve the money I make.

18. Money is pouring into my life from all directions. 

19. I am worthy of success.

20. I have everything I want and need. 

21. I love watching my business expand.

Loving these? 


Every Monday Morning I send out a new SUCCESS MANTRA (aka affirmation) for you to repeat each day that week. 

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This is what Sharon Brown had to say about her SUCCESS MANTRA:

"I received your email yesterday at the right time because I was not having a good day! I had nothing to lose so I decided to take action and said your morning mantra out loud as suggested for 5 minutes and went about my usual day.

Within a couple of hours I had a telephone call after telephone calls with people wanting to book appointments at my mobile salon. I just couldn't believe it, it had actually worked. I felt so uplifted and happy that now this mantra is part of my life. Thank you so much Emma."

Or find out more about the SUCCESS MANTRAS


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9 things that are much easier when you know EXACTLY who your Ideal Client is. 

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9 things that are much easier when you know EXACTLY who your Ideal Client is. 

9 THINGS THAT ARE MUCH EASIER WHEN YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO YOUR IDEAL CLIENT IS.

I will refer to an Ideal Client as an ICA which = Ideal Client Avatar.

An Ideal Client Avatar is fictional character that represents your ideal prospect. Sometimes called Dream Clients or Perfect Clients. They all mean the same thing - a made up picture of someone you want to do business with.

When you have a very clear picture of the exact person, it makes your life as an entrepreneur a lot easier. Here's how:

1) You can find her much more easily. 

You know where she hangs out. This not only saves you time but MONEY because you can advertise knowing that your ideal client will actually SEE it.

Example 1: I helped a Personal Stylist client to write a post for her ICA and we boosted in on Facebook. Within less than 24hours she had a paid client!!! Woohoo!!

Example 2: I helped another Personal Stylists to create a post about her Facebook group and boost it only to her ICA. Within 24 hours she had 44 women request to join her group - all her ICAs!

Example 3: I helped a client (another coach) to write a post about her new program/service. She put it in ONE Facebook group (filled with her ICAs) and had EIGHTEEN women respond to her and booked NINE Discovery Calls!

This works whether you're marketing yourself for free or paying for advertising - knowing your ICA means you know where to position yourself. 

2) You can do effective market research. 

This means you can ask her questions to find out exactly what she wants and why. The more you know the easier it is to create a service and program that she will actually PAY for. It's very important to not just assume you know what people want - if you want to make good money in your business then you have to solve people's problems. To do that you need to make sure you are focussing specifically on their main problem. Don't know what that is? Ask them.

3) You can write copy with ease. 

You know her 'problem', you know why you're her solution and can confidently communicate how YOU can help her and what she'll get out of working with you. This means you can write a sales/services page that talks directly to her and explain why you are the answer she's been looking for.

4) You can charge what you're worth. 

She's your ICA which means YOU are her IDEAL solution. You were born to work together and therefore you'll BOTH feel confident that you can help her and SHE knows you're the perfect person to do so. So you'll feel more confident charging what you're worth and (more importantly) SHE'LL see that value and will happily pay your fee. 

Example: One of my clients DOUBLED her prices, got in front of her ICA and within 1 week had 3 ideal clients happy to pay her new prices. 

5) Creating content is easy. 

You know your ICA through and through so you know what she wants to hear about. This makes writing newsletters, blog posts, social media posts and your lead magnet quicker, easier and more fun. No more scratching your head over what to post. 

6) You spend more time doing what you LOVE

You created this business because you wanted to get paid to do what you LOVE. When you know your ICA, you get to spend more of your time working with people you LOVE. Creating an Ideal Client Avatar is not just important for marketing your business but to ensure that you don't spend years building your business targeting people who aren't your best fit. 

7) You have more fun!! 

I often get messages from 1:1 clients saying their business no longer feels like 'work' because they feel so aligned with what they are doing now and who they are serving.

8) You'll be more confident selling yourself

When you know who your ICA is then you will be able to clearly see how you can help her. You'll know her pain-points and why YOU are the solution. You'll no longer see yourself as trying to sell a service but that you are exactly the help she needs. Trust me - this makes offering your services (and products) feel much more exciting and takes away any icky-ness you may feel about 'selling'. You're serving. You're helping. And your business becomes about them and not you. 

9) What you seek is seeking you.

It's much easier to use the Law of Attraction to bring in your ICA when you know who she is!! Just like if you were trying to attract your dream partner. I know, if you're in my community, you too believe in the power of asking for what you want. Ask & Receive. Well, you can't receive if you're asking in a vague way. Be specific. Tell The Universe exactly what sort of person you're looking for. It works for attracting your dream man so it will work for attracting dream clients too. 

Many of my clients have used The Law of Attraction to bring in many wonderful clients. Of course I always recommend you have all of your systems and structures in place so your ICA knows she's landed in the right place when she finds you but don't underestimate the power of asking The Universe. 

More blog posts are coming this week on how to define your ICA.

Tell me in the comments below, do you know who your ICA is? If so, how has that changed the way you run your business? 

Emma xx


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6 WAYS TO BE MORE CONSISTENT IN YOUR BUSINESS

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6 WAYS TO BE MORE CONSISTENT IN YOUR BUSINESS

6 WAYS TO BE MORE CONSISTENT

Consistency is key to success in anything and definitely in running a business.

You asked and I’m answering. Being consistent came 2nd to top when I asked you what you struggle with in your business. 


So, I wanted to share my top tips for being consistent.

TIP #1: BE REALISTIC


Before you jump in headfirst into a social media plan or sending your newsletters, I want you to be realistic with how much time you actually have.

You know I hate the word REALISTIC. So let's change it to FAIR. Be FAIR on yourself.

Don't do what - we all do! - when you want to start a new workout routine and we tell ourselves we're going to go to the gym 1hr every day and cut back on calories. We all know that trying to go from 0 to 100 won't work or last.

It's the same with being consistent. Consistent = acting in the same way over time.

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Consistency does NOT have to mean posting 4 times a day, 7 days a week on every social media platform, blogging 5 days a week and saying you'll send 3 emails a week to your list. In fact, that's setting yourself up to fail.

Consistent just means doing the SAME thing. It means showing up in the same way.

Look at your week and ask yourself what's realistic/fair for you. Is trying to blog 5 times a week going to send you into a spin? Then aim for once a week but be CONSISTENT. Choose a day and stick to it!

Will you be posting every day on social media? Which platforms? Or will you post just 3 times a week. Will you be posting Saturday and Sunday or just during the week?

I run my business full-time so I show up a lot more than I did when I was teaching 4 days a week.

The trick is making a plan and sticking to it.

If you're trying to go from occasional posting to every day then ease yourself into it. Just like you would a new workout routine. Set goals that excite you not scare and overwhelm you.


TIP #2: LET YOUR TRIBE KNOW WHEN TO EXPECT TO HEAR FROM YOU


Once you've decided on your plan make sure you stick to it.

Building a business is about building a relationship and people like to know where they stand.

That's why it's better to aim for 2 times a week than say 7 and only manage 3.

Don't be that person who bombards your Facebook feed with 17 posts in quick succession because you've found some great content and then drops off the face of the planet for a bit.

If you say you'll blog every Thursday and send an email out every Tuesday then make sure you do. If you want to post at least once a day on social media then set yourself an alarm to remind yourself.

Consistency is about habit building for you AND your audience. Let them get into the habit of looking out for your content because they know they can trust it will be there. 


SHOW your community with your actions WHAT they can expect from you and WHEN to expect it.


TIP #3: GET RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED ABOUT THE RESULTS YOU WANT

Oftentimes, where we aren't being consistent, it’s because we're aren’t excited enough about the results.

I did a juice diet last January and it felt tough. I felt sorry for myself pretty much 24/7 for those 3 weeks. I kept thinking about everything I was missing out on (bread, pasta and even chewing!!)

I did one again in July and it was sooooo much easier and actually fun.

What was the difference?

I had a photoshoot booked in August so I was very clear about WHY I was doing the juice diet. It was no longer about the 5 juices a day, it was about the results I wanted to see in the photos.

(Here are some behind the scene shots)

I kept dreaming about how I would feel getting the shots back from my photographer. This spurred me on and made sticking to my juice diet much easier.

This is the same in business.

If you aren’t being consistent then it could be because you aren’t exciting yourself enough with the results you want.

Go back to your WHY. It’s not JUST to make a difference to your clients. There will be a deeper reason. Is it for your family – to build a different lifestyle? What does that look like? Is it to be a leader in your industry and make an impact? What does that look like?

Why are you doing this? Why did you start this business? Paint that picture very clearly in your mind. Add it to your vision board.


EXCITE YOURSELF EVERY DAY WITH THE RESULTS YOU WANT TO HAVE.


This will fuel your motivation and help keep you consistently consistent.


TIP #4: SHOW UP WHERE YOU SHINE

In other words: Choose your favourite platform and medium. 

You do NOT have to be everywhere and 'do all the things'.

Don't like Twitter? Then scrap it and focus on Instagram. 

Hate writing? Then do videos or start a podcast. 

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One of the biggest mistake I see entrepreneurs making is trying to be everything and everywhere

Now don't get me wrong, as your business grows I think it's good to be seen on more platforms. 

But to begin with pick 2 social media platforms you love (and know your Ideal Clients will actually be on) and focus your effort on those. 

And it's not just important to be seen on social media. After all, Mark Zuckerberg owns your followers’ details, not you! If he decides to pull the plug then your followers would disappear in a puff of smoke...so get collecting people's email addresses pronto!

We want to bring your personality out and so if you shine on camera rather than through writing - show up on there. Get yourself on YouTube, go live on Facebook, do Vlogs, send videos out as your newsletter. 

If you've loved writing since you were 12 years old then spend your time building up a bank of amazing articles for your blog. Get yourself featured on large publications, magazines and newspapers. Go and find other people who work with the same target audience (but offer different services to you!) to guest blog for.

One of the greatest consistency killers is having to do things that just don't come naturally to us. 

Remind yourself of what does come naturally to you (and you enjoy!) and do that over and over again. Allow yourself to shine.


TIP #5: MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR YOURSELF

So you've created a plan and you're excited to stick to it. Yay!

Make life easier for yourself - batch your work.

Batching = focus on one task until it’s completed, and everything related to it is also completed.

Meaning turn off all distractions and write out the content for your social media posts for the next week. 

Or book a day (or an afternoon) where you write your next few of emails so you're not staring at a blank screen. Yes, you'll need to proofread them before you hit send but the bulk of the work will be done. 

Trust me, it's a lot easier to be consistent when you're not scratching your head with what to write about each day. 

Use a scheduler like Buffer or Hootsuite if you have a 9-5 and want to make sure you're still posting throughout the day. 

Not sure where to start with content planning? Click below to listen to my podcast:


TIP #6: SHOW YOURSELF COMPASSION

I'm a bit of a workaholic (okay, a lot of one!) so I have to remind myself of this one too!!

Don't be a crappy boss...to yourself.

You started this business to create more freedom, excitement and to love what you do.

I want you to be strict with yourself and set clear goals but don't be a jerk about it. 

Don't beat yourself up. If you get ill, miss a post or you aren't ready to hit publish then show yourself some grace. 

Your business isn't going to end. Your followers are not going to unsubscribe because you miss the odd deadline. 

Be kind to yourself. If you're on a diet and eat a packet of biscuits the worst thing you can do it give up and order a pizza because you 'messed up'. 

I want your business to fit around your life, not the other way around, so show yourself some compassion if (and when) life takes over. 

And then get back on it tomorrow. 


So there you have it - my top 6 tips on how to be more consistent. 

We've covered so much in this post. I'd love to know more about YOU. 

Tell me the answer to one (or all) of these questions:

  • What is your #1 favourite social media platform?
  • How often will you post? How often will you email your list?
  • What's your reason for all of this? WHY did you start your business?
  •  What will you do to stick to your plan of content creation? Have you been fair on yourself? Have you set a realistic goal that excites you?
  • How do you prefer to show up? Writing, videos or audio?

Emma xx

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33 SELF-LOVE & SELF-CARE QUOTES

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33 SELF-LOVE & SELF-CARE QUOTES

SELF-LOVE & SELF-CARE QUOTES

I want to quash the belief that self-care is somehow selfish. Or that loving yourself is narcissistic. I've seen in my own life how this couldn't be further from the truth. The more love we have for ourselves the more we have for others. 

Whenever we put ourselves at the bottom of the pile (rather than the top), we end up in trouble. That's true in all relationships: family, motherhood, friendship, business. Because we end up emptying the well and then what have we got to give? Nothing. 

Want to improve your business, relationships, health, LIFE?

Then love yourself more - exactly as you are. 

Here are my favourite quotes to remind YOU during any times you forget this truth: self-care & SELF-LOVE ARE A necessity not a luxury!

  1. “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” -Christopher Germer

  2. “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” – Benjamin Spock

  3. “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” – Diane Von Furstenberg

  4. “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” – Sally Field

  5. “When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small.  My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”– Kim McMillen

  6. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha

  7. “The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” - Steve Maraboli

  8. “Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” - Lucille Ball

  9. “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”– Jean Shinoda Bolen

  10. “You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.” - Unknown

  11. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” - Oscar Wilde

  12.  “Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” – Louise L. Hay.

  13. "Saying no can be the ultimate self-care" - Claudia Black

  14. “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” – Byron Katie

  15. “Do you pay regular visits to yourself?” - Rumi
  16. “Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults.” – Les Brown

  17. “Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.” – Carrie Bradsaw
  18. “Self-love is asking yourself what you need—every day—and then making sure you receive it.” – Anonymous

  19. “The only cure I’ve ever known for fear and doubt and loneliness is an immense love of self.” – Alison Malee

  20. “The best way to be loved is to love yourself.” – Adam Lambert

  21. “Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” - Parker J. Palmer

  22. “When the body is in trouble, we must find and eliminate the cause, not medicate the symptom” - Nina Leavins

  23. "Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.” – Aberjhani

  24. “In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective.” - Dalai Lama

  25. "When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.” - Kristin Neff
  26. Self-respect, self-worth, and self-love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.” – Rob Liano

  27. “It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”  - Mandy Hale

  28. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” - Louise L. Hay

  29. “Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?” - Brigham Young

  30. “If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” – Mandy Hale

  31. “Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.” - Rudy Francisco

  32. “Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.” - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

  33. “The most adventurous journey to embark on; is the journey to yourself, the most exciting thing to discover; is who you really are, the most treasured pieces that you can find; are all the pieces of you, the most special portrait you can recognize; is the portrait of your soul.” - C. JoyBell C.

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53 Examples of Self-Love

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53 Examples of Self-Love

Did you know today (February 13th ) is Self-Love Day?

Yesterday, I wrote about how practising Self-Love grows your business. Read it here

And I promised to share some ideas on what that can actually look like! 

To make it easier - think of self-love like romancing yourself. 

We don’t need to have a partner to experience romance. And to be honest, I believe that we shouldn’t put all our happiness and romance in one person’s hands. That’s too much pressure for them PLUS you're missing out on so many other ways you can experience romance. 

So, what does love and romance mean to you? Everyone's different. Some people love the idea of flowers, chocolates, love letters, surprises, pampering, special dinners.

What do you need to feel loved? Do you require:

  • Words?
  • Gifts?
  • Touch?
  • Quality Time?
  • Acts of Service?

Perhaps you want/need all of the above in some form!? Then give that to yourself. That's what Self-Love means to me, at least. 

What we crave from others we actually crave from ourselves. Here are some ways that you can make your body, mind and soul feel special, loved, cared for and valued.

WORDS

  • Write yourself a love letter and/or card and give it to yourself tomorrow!

  • Read gorgeous poetry, or better still, write a poem to yourself.

  • Look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you appreciate yourself.

  • Write a message on your mirror in lipstick, something you’d love to read.

  • Record yourself saying something loving to yourself and listen to it.

 Image Source: Stephanie Sterjovski

GIFTS

  • Buy yourself your favourite flowers (better still, have them delivered).

  • Save up and buy a gorgeous ring, necklace or bracelet and every time you look at it, let it remind you that you love who you are!

  • Take yourself off to your favourite coffee shop and have that cupcake.

  • Bake yourself a cake or cookies – heart shaped of course!

  • Book yourself into a Spa.

  • Treat yourself to something you have had your eye on. Get it gift wrapped.

  • Make yourself breakfast in bed.

  • Make sure you send yourself that love letter so you receive it in the post.

 

TOUCH

  • Slather on gorgeous body lotion—be present and slow.

  • Get a pedicure.

  • Get a manicure.

  • Dance to your favourite music and feel your body move.

  • Give yourself a massage.

  • Book a massage.

  • Wear cashmere or silk.

  • Wear gorgeous underwear.

  • Book to have your hair done.

  • Have a gorgeous bath with bubbles, champagne, candles and music. Feel the water all around you. Heavenly!

  • Hug yourself!! Why not?

QUALITY TIME

  • Listen to your body’s needs - stop when it tells you to! Set a time to finish working by.

  • Spend more time doing what you love - in your business and your personal life.
  • Write in a journal - allow your feelings out.

  • Be mindful when you eat.
  • Be mindful - full stop.

  • Spend time in beautiful places.

  • Make sure you take a lunch break (even if it's only short).

  • Spend time in nature.

  • Unplug.

  • Meditate.

  • Date Yourself...(scroll to the bottom for examples of Self-Dates).

ACTS OF SERVICE

  • Say yes if someone offers to help you.

  • Delete or delegate as many things as you can.

  • Pay someone to iron your clothes.

  • Have your car washed.

  • Hire a cleaner.

  • Hire a coach.

  • Hire a personal trainer.

  • Hire an assistant (a virtual one will also help you build your business).

  • Hire a child-minder.

  • Hire a chef.

  • Get your shopping delivered.

  • Remind yourself that you DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF.

Date yourself

Take yourself on a date! It's great fun. Don’t worry about other people thinking you look like a ‘loser’. In all honesty, many people will feel envious of the fact that you are obviously comfortable enough in your own skin to spend some quality ‘me time’.

Try one of these:

  • Coffee shop.

  • Cinema to watch the film none of your friends are interested in

  • Take yourself on a walk and be present.

  • Go to an art museum.

  • Go to the beach (if you are lucky enough to live near one).

  • Visit a nearby (or not so nearby) city and explore.

  • Take your camera out and get some great shots.

What other examples do you have? What does Self-Love and Self-Care mean to you? 

Sending you so much love.
Emma xx
P.S. Not sure which category you fall into? Take the Love Language Quiz and find out which of the areas above you crave the most. 

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7 WAYS SELF-LOVE INCREASES YOUR BUSINESS 

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7 WAYS SELF-LOVE INCREASES YOUR BUSINESS 

SELF-LOVE & HOW IT BUILDS YOUR BUSINESS

7 Ways Loving Yourself More Will Increase Your Business

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Running a business can be stressful enough. Add to that a partner, children and family. Plus, you may have a 9-5 too or if you're full-time self-employed you may have found yourself in the feast or famine cycle. Even if you have consistent clients and money each month, then there’s social media, marketing and creating new, fresh content.

We can end up spinning in our wheels. I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer. Far from it.

I want you to take a deep breath, put the kettle on and switch everything else off as you read the rest of this…

Self-Love = Success

And I’m not just talking soaks in the baths and early nights (although I do highly recommend them).

I’m talking about building a strong relationship with YOURSELF. 

Unless you’re bringing in a lot of automated passive income, your business needs YOU.

And one of the best ways to ensure you (and your business) remain healthy, consistent and on top form is to invest time in YOURSELF. 

I know, I know. You’re wondering how the hell you’ll fit all that into your schedule too. But hear me out.

Self-Love means you:

1) Put yourself (and your business!) first regularly. 

Rather than bottom of the pile. 

Even the airlines tell us, we have to put our own oxygen mask on first. When we practise self-love putting ourselves first becomes easier. You’ll start to see that putting your own needs before your partner, children, parents actually serves them better in the long-run. 

Okay, I’m not talking ALL the time or neglecting your kids. I just mean that you make it clear that you and your business have needs as well. After all, your business’ success may well be the family ticket to financial freedom. You’ll be able to send your kids to the best schools, pay for incredible holidays and experiences together and even enable your partner to retire early. This doesn’t happen overnight and it certainly won’t happen if you always drop everything and rush to their needs. 

Do what you need to do. Hire a cleaner. Hire a babysitter. Get a nanny one day a week. Explain to your partner what your BIG vision is and that you'll be unavailable. Create a space for you to work with the least distraction possible. 

And don’t just work! Self-care for you and your business means having time to switch off too.

2) Allow yourself to dream BIG!

When you practise self-love it means you simultaneously build your self-belief and confidence muscles. They go hand in hand and act like a team. 

Self-love enables you to not just KNOW that your business dreams are possible but you’ll actually take strides to make them happen!

3) Set clear boundaries & speak up

Following on from the last two points: make sure when you say yes you aren’t saying no to yourself. 

Don’t feel you have to take on extra work or clients that are less than ideal. The more you do this, the less you’ll have time and space for your YESES and your dream clients. 

Keep practising saying what you mean. Let your yeses be yeses and nos be nos. 

As one of my coaches always says: "If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no!"

Ask yourself: is this in alignment with my dream lifestyle and business vision?

4) Make better business decisions

The more we practise self-love the more we're drawn to doing things that give us headspace. The more you do this the more creative you’ll be. The more amazing ideas you’ll get to serve your clients and bring in income. 

When we have a strong relationship with ourselves we listen to our gut instinct. We are less likely to do things just because others in our industry are. We become more authentic. We allow ourselves to be guided by what’s true to us. 

And that means you…

5) Stand out in your industry

The more you practise self-love the more you accept and embrace all your quirks and what makes you unique. This means you'll happily show up in a way that shows you're different to everyone else and you will stand out. 

You'll create a brand that is a true reflection of YOU. It sounds simple but honestly - allowing yourself to choose the colours, styles, clothes, fonts, website, images that reflect YOU is a game changer in business. You will shine like a lighthouse to your ideal clients. 

It becomes easier to create content too because you’re being YOU and you know your message.

6) Understand that you’re not for everyone

You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.
— Dita Von Teese

There will always be someone (either a stranger trolling online or even a so-called friend) who'll make a comment about you and your business. 

The more self-love you have, the less this will knock you. You’ll grow a thicker skin and any comments will just be like water off a duck’s back. 

Consequently, putting yourself out there on social media won’t feel as scary because you know you’re coming from a place of service and if some people don’t get it, that’s just them.

7) Make time for your health and life-balance

Self-love means you won’t spend every waking hour working. It means you’ll be more compassionate with yourself. You’re not a robot! Don’t expect yourself to be.

If you get no sleep, eat at your desk and don’t get any exercise and fresh are (not to mention fun!) this will not serve you or your business in any way. 

The more you practise self-love the more you’ll start to take better care of yourself. It will become a habit. 

And remember: self-love means you’ll want to do more of what you LOVE which will include spending quality time with your loved one. 

See – I told you this was a win-win for your children, partner, family and friends!

So next time you find yourself burning the candle at both ends, stop and ask yourself what YOU want and need and then give it to yourself guilt-free. 

Tomorrow I’ll be back with over 20 ways you can easily bring Self-Love into your life.

Emma xx

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WHY YOU NEED TO USE PARKINSON'S LAW IN YOUR BUSINESS

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WHY YOU NEED TO USE PARKINSON'S LAW IN YOUR BUSINESS

WHY YOU NEED TO USE PARKINSON'S LAW IN YOUR BUSINESS

 

We've all done it, right...

  • You get an invite to a wedding 6 months beforehand yet you're still finishing curling your hair 10 minutes before you need to leave for the church. 

OR

  • You have all week to complete a task but waited until 3:30pm on the Friday - but you still get it done!

These are examples of Parkinson's Law

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
— Parkinson's Law

So what do we need? DEADLINES.

And that’s okay when someone has a boss breathing down their neck in a 9-5 but what if you're your own boss??

In the podcast today, I shared 5 ways you can cleverly utilise this powerful 'Law' and get more stuff done in a lot less time. 

Please note: if it doesn't play immediately, give it a couple of seconds...


Tell me below what sort of things you do to set clear deadlines in your business.

Emma xx

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Map Out a Year's Worth of Content Ideas in a Day (PODCAST)

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Map Out a Year's Worth of Content Ideas in a Day (PODCAST)

HOW TO MAP OUT A YEAR'S CONTENT IN A DAY 

Today I'm excited to share my method for mapping out a YEAR of content ideas in a day. Now when I say that, I'm not saying I WRITE the entire year's worth but I map it out. 

This means I'm never having to face a blank screen and flashing cursor or wonder what the heck to post about on social media that week. 

It also means there is a PURPOSE behind my content which means more direction and my followers actually understand what is is that I do and how I can help them.  

I'm going to walk your through the exact process I used here:

Please note: if it doesn't play immediately, give it a couple of seconds...


Add your name and email below if you'd like the excel spreadsheet and monthly and weekly planning sheets I use. These took me a couple of hours to make so save yourself the time and just download them for FREE.

How to Map a Year's Worth of Content

Leave a comment below to tell me your top takeaway from this episode.

Emma xx

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How to Get More Done in Less Time

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How to Get More Done in Less Time

HOW TO GET MORE DONE IN LESS TIME ⏰🙌🏼

We’ve all done this: you decide to tidy your living-room and take the coffee cups ☕️ to the kitchen; then you empty the dishwasher and wipe the surfaces; you decide to wash the dishcloth and realise the machine is full of dry clothes 👖that need putting away; you put the towels away and spot the hoover; you vacuum the whole house and so on and so forth…

At all times you’re very busy but you're not actually doing the ONE thing you set out to do – tidy the living room.

That’s the same with our business – how many times have you caught yourself with 14 tabs open on your browser and realise you’re multi-tasking? 

Multi-tasking robs you of productivity.

This was the way I functioned for a very long time. Multi-tasking everything.

That’s what women do, right?

Wrong. Men have got it right here, ladies.

I know I’m grossly generalising here - that’s only to bring home the point...

We aren’t serving ourselves or others when we try to do 15 things at once.

Here’s a fact that will stop you in your tracks...

Did you know - it takes THIRTEEN minutes for our brains to get refocused on what we were doing before we get distracted by something else.  😵

Think about how many lots of 13 minutes we can waste every day not to mention how draining this is for our brain.

In my video today, I shared 3 things you can do to get more done in less time:
 

1) Switch off all distractions – turn your phone on airplane mode.

2) Set a timer – this keep you aware and focussing on the ONE task at hand.

3) Batch jobs – do similar things at the same time.

Tell us in the comments, what do you do to keep focussed on one thing at a time?

Emma xx

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How to Get Things Done in your Business When You Have a 9-5/Kids/Busy Life

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How to Get Things Done in your Business When You Have a 9-5/Kids/Busy Life

HOW TO GET THINGS DONE IN YOUR BUSINESS WHEN YOU HAVE A 9-5/KIDS/BUSY LIFE


1) The most simple answer is: make sure you prioritise it.

It’s too easy to get home at the end of the day, exhausted and throw on your pjs and binge watch Netflix. Yep! Been there when I was teaching and trying to set up my business.

Look at the overall aim of why you want your business. What are your aims in 10 years? 5 years? 1 year? When we do this is helps to prioritise. We need to see WHY we are putting in the effort especially in the beginning when it feels like nothing’s really happening day to day.

2) Don’t underestimate the power of doing small things often.

Missing the odd social media/blog/newsletter here or there doesn’t seem like the end of the world when we have so much to keep on top of.

And when you aren’t getting the engagement you wanted on the posts/email it can feel even more tempting not to bother (Yep! Been there too!)

But the compound effect of doing this regularly WILL affect your business.

Do you know that if you saved a penny, and doubled the amount every day, by the end of just one month you’d have over FIVE million pounds?!?

What would this compound effect look like in your business if you did even just one small thing each day?
 

I created a video about this (and shared one of my favourite books) today. Click the image below to watch

What small thing do you do on a consistent basis that has given you BIG results in your business/life?

Emma xx

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60+ Blog Post Ideas for Image Consultants

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60+ Blog Post Ideas for Image Consultants

Hello lovely, 

So you're an Image Consultant/Personal Stylist? Great! I used to be one myself actually. 

  • Do you know you need to be sharing your knowledge but feel terrified that you'll end up giving all your 'secret sauce' away and potential clients won't need to bother hiring you

Yep. Been there and done that!

  • Or perhaps you want to write a blog but get stuck whenever you try to write a new post?

THEN YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE...

Keep reading and I'll explain why you mustn't be afraid of sharing your knowledge and give you over 60 fabulous ideas for blog posts and newsletters that every Image Consultant can use.

To be a success you need potential clients to KNOW that you are the go-to-woman when it comes to all things clothes and style related. DO NOT worry about giving away information for free! That’s the biggest mistake I see many entrepreneurs making when it comes to communicating with their 'tribe'. 

I know it sounds rather counter-intuitive but you should be happily writing ‘How To’ articles. I know lots of Image Consultants who hold back through fear of 'giving away too much of their knowledge' (that was me back in 2008!). But it doesn't work like that. Let's be honest, if they can buy a book on it or Google it then you shouldn't be afraid of writing about it!! 

Therefore, YOU and your blog/newsletter need to be a source of information. 

You need to show you are an expert in your field. 

I can assure you that your Ideal Clients will want YOU to do this work FOR them! That's why people hire Image Consultants and Personal Stylists. They want someone to tell them what to wear. They want someone to choose items for them to buy. They want to be told which colours suits them. They want an expert; someone to build their confidence and bring them out of their comfort zone. And that someone is YOU!

Yes you may inspire some to have a go and do it for themselves but they wouldn’t have been hiring you anyway, right?!

To help you along the way I have created a list of over 60 Blog Posts Ideas for Image Consultants and Personal Stylists.

Enter your name and email address for instant access...

Emma xx

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How my health, finances (& whole life) improved when I left my ‘safe’ job and started my own business

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How my health, finances (& whole life) improved when I left my ‘safe’ job and started my own business

  • I believe one of the best ways to ensure we are happy and healthy is to get paid to do what we love.
  • Some find happiness in a job and others - like you and me - actually create that role in the form of a business. For us it’s a way to experience true joy in our lives.
  • I’m on a mission to inspire as many women as possible to turn their dream business into reality and to dispel the myth that:

Having a job = security

and

Running a business = risk

I learnt the hard way that the opposite is in fact true for me.

Most of my family and friends found their ‘thing’ in the form of a job and are very happy and definitely in their Zone of Genius. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for me.

I thought there must be something wrong with me. I wondered why my job was making me so ill and unhappy. I couldn’t understand why I had this longing for something else and why a black cloud hovered over the weekdays but would lift at the weekends. 

I worked in a primary school, and although I was graded an outstanding teacher and loved being with the children, I couldn’t help but wish for something else. Most of the other teachers were exhausted too so I thought that was just what happened when you grew up and got a job.

I’d crawl to the weekends and count down the days to the next holiday.

I started considering alternatives, but fear and doubt took over. I’d only studied teaching at university. I couldn’t think how else I could use my skills. I didn’t think I even HAD any other skills.

Plus I thought starting a business was a ‘risk’. So I ignored the quiet whisper telling me there was something else out there.

As the months went by, crippling fatigue consumed me and much of my salary was spent trying to regain my health. In 2004, my body decided enough was enough and I ended up in hospital. I came out in a wheelchair diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome.

Even after all that, I STILL continued to ignore that voice. I did all I could to regain my health and managed to build myself up to working full-time again and then...

BAM.

I lost my job.

Then my boyfriend dumped me (10 weeks after buying me an engagement ring!).

I had to move back in with my parents - not what I was hoping for at 28.

With nothing left to lose, I started a business.

What I didn’t expect was how much my health would improve as I started doing more of what I loved. It felt like I had a new lease of life.

When all of those things happened I thought life must really hate me. What I now realise is that if we go down the wrong path, our body will do whatever it can to make us aware. Gut-feelings are there to guide us and if we don’t listen, the clues get much louder.  

I dread to think where I’d be now if life hadn’t taken over like that. I wouldn’t be running an international coaching business that fills me with energy and excitement or be in a wonderful relationship with an incredible man

While it’s not easy running a business, it’s certainly not as risky as people make it out to be. You know what’s riskier? Remaining in a job that sucks the life and soul out of you.

Along the way I’ve learn to listen to, trust and follow my gut, even if I don’t know what it has in store for me.

IF YOU HAVE THE DESIRE TO START A BUSINESS THEN YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF (AND THOSE YOU LOVE) TO LISTEN AND MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are to be ultimately at peace with themselves. What human beings can be, they must be.
— Abraham Maslow.

Just like introverts need to have their own space to recharge, some people NEED to become an entrepreneur in order to express themselves fully. Otherwise we wilt.

A lot of fear comes up when we think about running our own business. Whether you have a business dream you’d love to make a reality, or own a business and want to quit your 9-5, here are 5 reasons why running a business (that you love) is actually far SAFER than remaining in a job (you hate):

1) Improved health

When we love what we do, we’re more passionate and filled with energy. This invigorates our body. It’s been proven that the happier we are the healthier we are. Did you know that more people have a heart attack at 9am on a Monday morning than any other time of the week? Coincidence? I think not.

2) Earning potential

Money: the area that freaks people out the most when thinking about running a business.

I want to reassure you that with the right mindset and business structures in place, you can actually earn a lot more as an entrepreneur than in your ‘secure’ job. I get paid more in 1 hour working with a client than I used to in a whole day as a teacher. There is no ceiling to how much you can make when you’re the boss, unlike many industries that are capped even if you make it to the top.

3) No sudden redundancies

If your workplace makes cuts there’s no guarantee that your hard work will help you stay.

4) Better work-life balance

Once you’ve established your business, you can take time off when you want/need to. No more asking permission to take a holiday or go to the dentist.

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5) Better relationships

Nobody wants to come home from a hard day at work and be a grouch to those they love.

As Charles Handy said: “We have a chance to shape our work to suit the way we live instead of our lives to fit our work...We would be mad to miss the chance.”

I now help other women to make their dream of running a business a reality.

I hope my story gives you - the woman who has BIG dreams of running a business - the motivation to get out there and make it happen.

Permission to get paid to do what you love...GRANTED!

Where are you on your journey? Are you in a 9-5 that sucks the life and soul out of you? Have you pursued what you love and started your own business? What have you noticed as a result of that? 

Emma


I’m a primary school teacher turned entrepreneur. I love helping other women - just like you - to create businesses that enable them to get paid to do what you LOVE. 

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How to be effective CEO of your Mind

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How to be effective CEO of your Mind

Our Mind: a powerful ally or destructive enemy. You get to make the choice between which one yours is. Our mind can be our faithful servant; we just have to learn how to guide it. We have to set the tone, we have to guide it and tell it who is in charge.

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Are You Sabotaging Your Success?

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Are You Sabotaging Your Success?

Have you ever found yourself saying you want something, for example to lose a few lbs, and then suddenly you're craving (and eating!) chocolate like it's going out of fashion? Or perhaps you seem to go out of your way to NOT care for yourself?

This is SELF-Sabotaging

Self-sabotaging behaviour occurs when we say we want something but then we seem to (subconsciously) do whatever we can to make sure it doesn't happen. We all get in our own way occasionally but the problem arises when we do it repeatedly.

I see this pattern in so many of my clients and I can easily fall into these habits too, unless I am careful.

Examples of self-sabotage:

  •     procrastinating on something that we know would benefit us
  •     overeating when we have decided to improve our diet
  •     quitting when the going gets tough
  •     spending too much time planning rather than taking ACTION
  •     driving people away or starting an argument

WHY do we self-sabotage?

It all starts in your subconscious mind: this part of our brain is more advanced than any computer in the world.

When we experience pain - whether physical or emotional - our mind searches even harder for the cause of the pain. It locks onto that and remembers the cause (even if you don't) and then it does everything it can to stop you moving towards that pain ever again.

Clever, huh?

Our brain is designed to move us towards pleasure also, however, it will always do more to avoid pain!

Therefore, we can never succeed at anything if we simultaneously link pain and pleasure to the same thing.

When I realised this is was a huge light-bulb moment.

One of the greatest fears in life is to be rejected by others. Our subconscious mind will therefore avoid any situation where we could be rejected. This can include: not talking to someone we are attracted to; not starting a new business we have a longing for in case "they" criticise; not asking for a promotion.

Enter the extraordinarily effective behaviour of SELF-SABOTAGE!

We go into fight and flight or...FREEZE. We put things off. We put our heads in the sand rather than face something that feels unpleasant.

Our subconscious mind is not the "evil monster" people believe it to be: it really is on our side. It just doesn't realise that its limiting behaviour is actually causing us agony and frustration.

Causes:

  •     Fear of change
  •     Fear of success
  •     Low self-esteem


It results from a misguided attempt to keep ourselves SAFE. Our mind is trying to rescue us from our own negative feelings.

Sadly, in life we will come across people who will happily tell us exactly what they think. Haters are always going to hate! I have someone in my life who seems to enjoy belittling whatever I do. For a long time I would let the fear of people like him hold me back. I stood in my own way to avoid any perceived "treat". When we fear an attack then understandably our brain will do whatever it can to prevent this.


4 ways to prevent your self-saboteur rearing its head?

1) Awareness

Become a keen observer of the critical statements that run through your mind that might be causing you the fear: these are what lead to the self-sabotaging behaviour. For example if you want to lose weight but in your head you are thinking of all the months ahead that will consist of nothing but rabbit food and starvation, then clearly your subconscious is not going to be too thrilled by the idea.

2) Know that it is very common behaviour

Many of us will at least occasionally do something to prevent change. After all, our brains are designed to keep the status quo. It really helped me to understand this so I didn't feel like such a 'loser' when I seemed to be putting obstacles in my way. Again: awareness is the key to all change.

3) Reassure Yourself

As Brad Yates says: self-sabotage is misguided self-love. Our brain thinks it is doing the best for us. It is therefore OUR responsibility to take back the control. You wouldn't seek advice on major decisions from a child would you? But this is essentially what you are doing whenever you let your actions (or lack of them!) become governed by your emotions. Speak nicely to yourself; reassure your fearful self.

4) Change what you link pain and pleasure to

You now know that it's your brain stepping in and obstructing you because it is linking more pain than pleasure to the change you want to make. So, you need to change the balance - you need to dial down the pain and amp up the pleasure. Let me show you how...

Take the example of applying for a new job.
Write out what you link pain to e.g.

  •     I might not get it.
  •     I could be rejected.
  •     I'll look stupid.

List the negative thoughts that come up.

Next turn that into pleasure: e.g.

  •     I'll get interview experience.
  •     I'll be taking action towards my goal.
  •     No one can make me feel stupid - only I have that power.
  •     I am more than good enough for the role.
  •     I will be so proud of myself for stepping outside my comfort zone.
  •     And so on...

Every time you think of the change you want to make (apply for a new job in this case) you need to remind yourself of all the pleasure associated with it.

Have a go. Choose something that you have been stalling on and turn all the negatives (pain) into the positive (pleasure) and see how different you feel.


Your thoughts control your feelings

Your feelings control your actions

Your actions control your behaviour

If you just try to change your behaviour, you won't get very far - that's just a symptom. To really change your behaviour you have to change your feelings and that starts with reprogramming the way you talk to your self - your thoughts!

They are YOUR thoughts and you are free to change them! Yes, really!

So, what have you been putting off? Are you in FREEZE mode? Write a list of 5 things you know you could do that would transform your life from where it is to where you want to be.

I'd love to hear your comments in the box below.

And as always, if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send me an email and ask away.
Much love,
Emma xx

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Embracing Your Uniqueness

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Embracing Your Uniqueness

This is my personal story about how my relationship with not only myself but with men changed after I overcame my need to be accepted by others. I've had a couple of serious relationships but I'm a different person to who I used to be and therefore I want different things from a relationship and in a man than I used to.

All of my adult-life I've worked with either children or women so the chances of meeting someone at work were slim-to-none! Back in 2007, after a 6 year relationship ended, I tried Internet dating. I met some really lovely people and had two relationships which lasted over 2 years, but I wanted more. I knew I was holding back. I knew that I was after something different. I wasn’t being fully ME. I didn't feel "safe" to be myself.

If you have ever felt like you wear a “mask” then you'll know what I mean. If you've ever suffered with low self-esteem then you will know what I mean.

When I was a little girl my parents used to call me Emma Quite Contrary after the book:

As I got older, instead of just being myself, I tried to fit into what I thought was “normal”. What a dangerous slippery slope that was! I wasn't even doing it consciously: I had (unknowingly) totally lost sight of who I was.

Having done a lot of personal development, I had not only gained the confidence I had always craved but clarity on the type of relationship I wanted. I felt ready.

It was time to embrace my uniqueness. I'm quirky. I'm Emma Quite Contrary. Over these last few years I have not only learned to accept this but to embrace it.

So in August 2014, I decided to go back to online dating.

I want to share one paragraph I wrote on my Match.com profile:

"I don't even believe in star signs, so I hate to admit that I appear to be a true Gemini - the twins! I like creature comforts but loved travelling around Thailand with nothing but a backpack and spare change. I find the glitz of city lights just as appealing as being in my wellies walking through puddles in a forest; nights out drinking cocktails delight me as much as sipping green juice on a mountain top. For me, variety really is the spice of life."

You see, I AM contrary and I need that in my life. It's who I am. I believe many of us are.

Here are some of my contrasting needs:

  • I crave parties and solitude
  • I'm a wannabe veggie (I rarely eat meat) but my favourite meal is my Dad's Thai Chilli Beef Salad
  • I am serious and a big kid
  • I need summer and winter
  • I love 5* hotels and camping
  • I enjoy action-packed thrillers as much as slushy romcoms
  • Cars don't interest me yet I bought my dream sports car last year
  • I hate being cold, however, I must have an Arctic temperature bedroom at night

I am a mass of contradictions and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And guess what?

That's exactly what my wonderful boyfriend is like too. He totally accepts me for who I am. I have no idea what the future holds for the two of us but I do know that I am not prepared to "dilute" myself like I used to.

Whilst it is, of course, wonderful to have someone who accepts me for all of my quirks, I have learnt that it is far more important to love and accept myself. I feel so much more content.

Give yourself the ultimate gift: gain clarity on who you are then connect with and fully EMBRACE every part.

What part of you have you been covering up? What are your quirks? What makes you unique? Dig deep to find them and then delight in these – they are what makes you YOU!

Until next time, get quirky, get unique!

Emma xx

Photo credit: Pinterest

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